“Dark, Depressing, Distracting and Disappointing”

The Hulk is a big, jumbled mess that is so preoccupied with being the next big-screen sensation that it fails to entertain in nearly every way. Ang Lee’s avant-garde directing style is so distracting (relentlessly accosting the viewer’s eyes with a variety of wipes, split-screen or multi-panel effects), that it should be mandatory for the box office tellers to hand out two aspirin with each movie ticket.

This version of The Hulk is based on the comic book, not the 70’s TV show, and is the worse for it. In the TV version, Bruce Banner would transform into the Hulk if he broke his finger, or if he was attacked, or if he saw someone being victimized and “got angry.” In the movie, Bruce has no such catalysts for transformation; but becomes the Hulk when “repressed memories” (puh-leez) from his childhood trigger a physiological response and turn him into the not-so-jolly green giant.

The comic incarnation established that the Hulk has the ability to leap/bound three miles at a time, and whereas this is probably really cool on the page, it’s cheesy as heck on the silver screen. To make matters worse, the Hulk jumps from one mountaintop to another for close to five minutes, producing dizziness and thoughts such as, “Okay, I get the point already!” Another trait that doesn’t lend itself to the believability of the film is the Hulk’s immense size; he’s several feet taller than his comic book alter ego and simply looks too large.

The film’s pacing is excruciatingly slow, especially in the beginning, where the audience has to wade through nearly an hour of exposition before the Hulk’s first mutation, and most of the back-story is boring and confusing. Good storytelling involves showing, not telling, but The Hulk takes this principle to absurd extents…way too many things are left unexplained. Like, was there really a nuclear blast in the past or was that just a part of little Bruce’s horrific memories? Or, what in the world does David Banner turn into at the end of the movie (some kind of ectoplasmic balloon)?

If there’s a bright spot in The Hulk it’s the acting. Eric Bana is surprisingly convincing as the Hulk; he doesn’t allow over-emotionalism to stilt his performance. Jennifer Connelly is good as Betsy Ross, but her role certainly isn’t Oscar-worthy, and her on-screen father, General Ross, is played to the hilt by the rugged, no-nonsense, Sam Elliot. Nick Nolte portrays David Banner (or is he just playing himself?), a mad-scientist type who clearly has some mental and emotional issues to work through—kudos to the casting director.

The biggest failure in The Hulk is the disservice it pays to its target audience—young boys. The Hulk never once uses his super-human abilities for constructive purposes, but rather, destroys anything and everything in sight without the slightest consideration or compunction: there’s nothing heroic in the Hulk’s actions and he becomes little more than an oversized thug in the movie. Seething anger and unbridled hatred fuel this version of the Hulk, and as such, makes him a poor role model for kids.

The final word: as corny as it was, the 70’s TV show was infinitely more believable, and ironically, more entertaining than this new, unimpressive knockoff.

Rating: 1

Tags: Action, Sci-fi