Thor: The Dark World (PG-13)
14/03/14 21:20 Filed in: 2013
Starring: Chris Hemsworth
November 2013
This review was originally tweeted in Real-time from the back row of a movie theater and appears @BackRoweReviews. Though efforts were made to tease rather than ruin this movie’s memorable lines and moments, some spoilers may exist in the following evaluation. The original tweets appear in black, while follow-up comments appear in red. For concerns over objectionable content, please first refer to one of the many parental movie guide websites. All ratings are based on a four star system. Happy reading!
With apologies to MC.
The dark elves...those are called goblins, right? Total LOTR opening.
Loki wants his birthright, gets a dungeon instead.
Echoes of Jacob and Joseph’s stories in the Bible.
Thor vs. Goliath. Short fight.
Something about planet Vanaheim reminds me of the prototypical worlds seen on Stargate SG1.
Portman enters the titular dark realm. Something tells me Amidala is no longer on Naboo.
Thor and Portman beam up. Welcome to Asgard.
Predator guy deactivates the Gungan shield protecting Odin’s fortress.
Sorry, mixed my movie metaphors on this one.
Stan Lee wants his shoe back.
Eh, he can afford a replacement.
Selvig streaks at Stonehenge. Thank God for pixel blurring.
Loki vs. four dark elves. Thor vs. Predator.
The fight schedule really fills up here…much like it did in The Avengers.
Thor hangs his hammer on a coatrack. Hilarious!
Convergence circles of the nine worlds are sweet.
Nice ending twist.
Or twist ending.
Final analysis: story took a long time to get going and wasn’t all that engaging once it did.
Certainly not the worst superhero movie ever, but far from spectacular.
The plot is a pastiche of LOTR, Star Wars, Star Trek and even First Knight. Not much originality.
In the case of the latter film, I reference the shared scene of a launched flaming arrow igniting the pyre atop a floating raft.
Rating: 2 1/2 out of 4 stars. Not nearly as enjoyable as the first film, but not without its merits.
This film just rolled along and at movie’s end I was kinda’ like “is that it?” Though the movie is an enjoyable entertainment, I never once felt emotionally engaged, never once felt that our hero was in any real jeopardy and felt that the story, for all its high-end FX and well choreographed fight scenes, is just ho-hum. Hopkins gives the film appropriate gravitas, as he did in the first film, and Tom Hiddleston serves as an effective wild card element in the story. Hemsworth and Portman are exceedingly cardboard in their roles…a major disappointment. One other thought: London keeps getting picked on in sci-fi/superhero movies (Star Trek: Into Darkness, Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer, etc). Let’s pick on Miami or Dallas for a change. Poughkeepsie?